DEAR READERS:

I want to wish all of my readers and their families a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday. Many of my publishing newspapers will print me on Thursday. Many of us will gather around the table for a wonderful meal. Please take a moment to send a prayer to our armed forces around the world who cannot be home today with their families. FREEDOM is something we all take for granted. It is the hallmark for our country. I for one know the feeling of being in a foreign land (Vietnam) during this time of year. Wishing I could be back home with my family. I did make it home but many of us did not. They gave the supreme sacrifice so that you can be around that big table and have extra slices of pumpkin pie. The next time you see a serviceman or women, shake their hand and thank them for their service, they really appreciate it. Without them we would not have the freedom we so much enjoy.

God Bless You.

Dear Michael:

I have been with my husband for 13 years. We have been married for six of them. We had our first daughter this past June. She is AWESOME. I had a great, full-term pregnancy with no morning sickness. I had a textbook delivery. The first six weeks with the baby was tough...but I did most of the work (She has only been getting breast milk)

Now she is on somewhat of a schedule and happy as can be. She is also sleeping through most nights. The thing is, I want another baby. Not right now of course, but I would like to start trying in about a year (I will be 33 next month) and my husband is 36. I just want one more baby before I am 35. My husband told me a couple of months ago that he is pretty sure that he doesn't want another one and that he now realizes that he isn't a baby person. He does play with our daughter and I know he loves her. I just want her to have a sibling. I have always wanted two children and he knows this. I am constantly thinking about this and making myself upset!! Please help!!

Craving

Dear Craving:

Congratulations to both of you and your daughter. I can fondly remember those 3 am feedings. I had a special nipple that I poked a few extra holes in that helped get me back in bed and back to sleep. I don’t think it hurt anything but he sure could give out a big belch when done that could wake up the dead. He is now 36 years old, 6’2” and could probably kick my butt around the room.

Having children is a huge responsibility. Bringing a new person into the world is a big job. This weighs heavily on a man/husband. Today the man is still the main breadwinner and not only providing a roof over your head but also all the other things that keep a household running can be overwhelming to some men. Yes, I realize that women are also in the work force and dual incomes are necessary in most households. In this day and age the major pressure is still on the man.

Finding out now, six years later that he realizes that he is not a baby person must be a blow to your plans. At the beginning, did you discuss how many children you were going to have? If he had said only one would that have prevented you from getting married? I don’t think so, at least at the time. You might have thought, yeah, right, and gone on with the marriage.

Like I said, this is all new to him. I would say, back off of wanting another baby. Let him see the joy you are feeling now. Let him get involved with the caring/feeding and yes poopy diapers. Get used to it. Don’t put any pressure on him at this time or you will ruin the possibility of getting that second child.

Today you can have a child up to the age of 40. You get your daughter to two or three years old and lets see if his position changes. Kids are so cute at that age. Check out the things that you could do that would “help” you have a boy the next time out. Science has come a long way in discovering ways to choose the sex of your child. A SON would change his mind in a heartbeat.

A word of caution, please do not trick him into having another child. You know what I mean. This could spell disaster to your now happy little home. The best-case scenario is to let it become his idea. Take away the pressure and you will be amazed how you can get your way. I was at a wedding a few years back. I saw this cute couple that seemed very happy just sitting there and enjoying the activities. These folks had been married a long time and I was curious and asked them how long they had been married. The husband piped up and proudly said “52 years”. He was holding his wife’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. I asked him what was the success of their marriage. He looked at me with a gleam in his eye and said that it was a 50-50 deal. “She gets her way 50% of the time and I get my way 50% of the time”. When I asked her she leaned over and said in a low voice “Letting him think he is getting his way 50% of the time”. That was a smart woman.

Give this idea some time to simmer and see if his position changes with a little time. This is all still new to him.

The Best To You

Michael

(Michael Stone is syndicated in newspapers and radio station web sites around the country. Visit his site, www.michaelstone.net to send your letter.)