Many people have asked me why I write the Michael Stone column and web site. I guess the best answer I have is that it has taken me over 35 years to get to this point in my life. It all started way back to 1966 when I was in the Navy and stationed in Pearl Harbor.

Even before I had gotten there I was a surfer for about 5 years, so when I heard that I was going to Hawaii all I could think about was getting a chance to ride the big waves on the north shore. A lot of people have the mis-conception there are big waves all the time in Hawaii, this is not the case. Yes they get big but not all the time and not every year. It seems the big waves, and we are talking 25+ in size are not a regular event.

I had been up to Sunset beach a few times and had some really good rides on the big waves. The experience is quite exhilarating, everything is on a much bigger scale than what I was used to in Calif. I remember one day at Sunset that did change my life forever!

I had been out for about 2 hours and had a few good waves to ride. Then I noticed a rather large ground swell moving its way toward me. A ground swell is the beginning of a wave before the wave starts to take shape as it approaches the beach. At Sunset you are out about 300 yards. This ground swell was approaching from about 600-800 yards and was picking up speed and size. I had thought, “Man, this is going to be a big one” I had a couple of choices to make. I could paddle toward the approaching wave and get over the top of it, forget about trying to ride this one, as I was in the wrong position. Turn around and try to just catch the wave after it broke and ride the soup (white water) in or my last choice was to get off the board, push it to the side away from me, and take my chances. I was in very good shape in those days and thought I could just hold my breath and pop up. This wave, by the time it reached me was very big and came crashing down on me with all its fury.

This is where my life was forever changed.

I was pounded by this wave. I was being thrown around under water. No sense in trying to fight my way to the top. When you're in this kind of rough water, you could swim to the bottom and never know it, your equilibrium system is all messed up.

At first I thought that I would soon be at the top, but this did not happen, I was not popping up to the surface, I could hold my breath for about 2 min. so I was not overly concerned, but after a bit, I felt like I did not need to breathe, like I had plenty of air. Then I became concerned… I did not feel like I needed to get air.

The next experience was that I could see in my mind, experiences, people, sounds etc. were all racing toward me. I could see fields of daises and I was skimming over them just inches above the flowers, and going very fast. My next thought was that I had drowned; I thought that maybe I had been hit by my surfboard. In my mind I could see two military people at the door of my parents, telling them I had drown in a surfing accident.

As if this was not enough, now I could not feel the water around me. It was as if there was a shield around me. I knew I was in the water, but I could not feel it. My only though was I had died and there was no pain or suffering. I thought … this was too easy. The time I had been under the water was no longer my primary concern; I was just waiting to see what would happen next. The odd thing about this is that I was never scared, it was as if I was watching this unfold in a movie, this was happening to someone else.

In an instant my head popped up out of the water and I was able to breathe again. I looked around quickly to get my bearings, surprising to me I was not much closer to the beach, I could see my board on the beach, my friends were waving their arms, I waved back as I continued to swim toward the beach. One thing though, when I surfaced it felt like one whole day had passed. I was at the same beach, my friends were there on the beach but I just felt like I was in a different day. Weird.

As I was swimming to the beach I could see and hear an ambulance and I though to myself that I hoped no one was hurt too bad. As I finally got on the beach my friends came running up to me and asking me all sorts of questions and I noticed that the rescue squad was on the beach and coming toward my little group and asking where the victim was….. they were there for me!

My friends said that I was the one they called about. I was the victim. I was confused. I asked what was going on. I was told that they thought I had drown and that my friends called the paramedics. The medics left the beach and I was the one with questions. I asked them why would they do that. They told me that I was under the water for such a long time, that my board had came in and I was nowhere to be found. I asked them how long I was under the water and they said about 7-10 min as close as they could guess. There was no way that I could hold my breath that long. They called the paramedics to report a drowning, mine. I never did tell them what I had been through, but I knew that something had happened.

After a couple of days, I was feeling my old self again, but I had begun to wonder what did I go through. I knew that I should have drown that day, yes, I should have died.  Then the idea came to my mind that maybe I was saved, by something, somebody that day. Decisions were being made about my life. I could imagine that while I was being held and protected under water, it was being determined… should we take him or send him back. I was not to die that day and was sent back to the real world. It would have been so easy for me to have been "taken". No one would have known the truth.

For years after that event, I asked myself, why was I saved? What is the purpose of saving me? I mean I am glad they did but why?  Was I supposed to discover something, invent something? These questions had been really bothering me and as I got older the answer to this question became more important to me. There were not too many years left in my life, what am I supposed to do with this gift of a second chance. I then thought that maybe it is not the years that were quickly passing me by, but the fact that I was destined to have something happen and that it would happen in due time. I would know.

The Time Had Come.

Now I am in my forties, it is 1984 and I am going through a divorce. I joined a singles support group called Parents Without Partners. This group has many activities, including discussions that are held in members home. The topics are those about sex, dating, marriage and being single, dealing with children as a single parent. During this time I was reading every book I could find about relationships. I am a rather outspoken person and I was asked to become a moderator for a discussion. It went well and I was able to handle the topic. The years went by and I continued to moderate these discussions. The years slipped by and at last count in 1999 I had been a moderator over 800 times.

During this time, many members, who wanted to talk with me in private about their problems that needed to be confidential, contacted me. I kept their trust not to discuss our talks. My advice was sound, as I was told. Many times I would be challenged about my advice, only to have the same person tell me later that I was right.

Several close friends thought I should write a book, or become a talk show host and talk about relationships. The idea did intrigue me. I did try and start a book about relationships several times but I was frustrated because I could not type as fast as I could think about what I had to say. The book deal was not to be, at least for now. Radio was out and no book loomed on the horizon but what about the Internet? In May of 1999 I sat down in front of my computer and looking at a blank screen, started to build a web page about relationships. I called it Michael Stone on Relationships. I did not want to use my real name, as it was not a good media name. I called upon a few close friends to review what I was building and by June I had what I thought was a viable web site. I listed with all the search engines I could find and sat back and waited for a response.

It took a few weeks but then I started to get letters asking “Michael Stone” for advice. I was excited to say the least. I was on the Internet with a relationship advice page and people were writing to me about their relationships. I was in heaven. When I sat down to respond to their letters, something happened that is hard to explain. I would read the letter and then proceed to write a response. The response that I would have would seem to flow from me. It was like I did not have to think about what I was typing. When I was through with my response I would go back over it for spelling corrections and typos but the main thought or ideas would not have to be changed. Looking over my writing I could see that I would add a little humor here and there where it might be called for and being serious when needed. Over the next few weeks I would receive many letters from around the world. I found that when I wrote a letter a sort of inner peace came over me. The payoff was the letters that would come back to me from the people that I had written. They were telling me how much they valued my response. They were going to take my ….MY advice about their problem. In a way I was changing peoples lives, someone I would most likely never meet was going to follow my ideas about how to improve their situation. You have no idea the impact this had on my life.

During this same period of time I was sharing my letters with a few close friends, I would show them the letters and my response. They were very impressed with my advice. They thought that I had a real talent for what I was doing. They were my friends and so I took what they said with a grain of salt, after all, your friends are not going to tell you the truth if it was bad. I needed more impartial input. Then the acid test came. A person I had known only as an acquaintance was going to review my writings. This person was a trained MFCC counselor with a Ph.D.. She reviewed my work. I needed to be sure that I was on track with my advice. To me it felt right but was it? After reading many letters she looked at me and said “your advice is good” “it seems that you have a gift for this”  A GIFT, you have no idea how much this meant to me.

As of this writing (12-99), I have about a dozen newspapers and a singles magazine that publish my column. In July of 2002 I was contacted by Clear Channel Communications and they wanted my column to be added to their radio station web sites around the country. One of my dreams was to be able to have my own radio talk show. In 2003 I had a talk show on Cable Radio Network for three months, the station kept moving my program to different times and days so I canceled the program. As a result of my program on CRN I met Dr. Susan Forward and we are working on a Nationally Syndicated radio show called "He Says...She Says".  In March 2004 I start my radio program on KCAA in San Bernardino. 

I feel that what ever force that saved my life so many years ago is also responsible for making this outlet possible. The Clear Channel folks are the people that can make it happen.  I am convinced that this “gift” that I have is what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. I no longer have the need to search for a reason why I was saved. I believe that certain people are put on this planet for a reason, to achieve greatness or become a model for others to look up to. I may never be in the same arena as these great people but I do think that in a way I am helping to change peoples lives, one letter at a time. Perhaps these people are guided to me by some unknown force in their life. That question may never be answered.

I am not a overly religious person, nor have I been in UFO's or talked with Elvis, but SOMETHING did happen to me that day 35 years ago and I now have an inner peace that is in my life.  I feel as if I have finally come home.

I would like to share a poem that one of my readers sent me, I believe this sums up best how I feel about what I do.