I have been living with the same woman for over 10 years. On Dec 16th, she left me. I love her
with all my heart. She says she loves me, but she is not in love with me any more. I think there
might be another man. She swears there is not but my heart tells me there is.
She says she can’t stand to be around me any more. She won’t let me come to the house and
gets mad when I call. I still love her and want her back. What do I do?

Sleepless Every Night
 

Dear Sleepless,

I’m going to assume that you are not married to this woman, as you did not mention divorce.
She picked a terrible time to leave, right in the middle of the holidays. So that leads me to
believe that there might be something going on, despite what she tells you, call it a gut feeling.
All in all you have to believe her unless you have positive information to the contrary.

You can love someone and also be in love with someone. These are two separate feelings. In
a perfect world you can have both with the same person. You “love” someone because of who
they are, your shared history, belief system etc., your “in love” with someone which is part of
the passion and aliveness you feel when they are near. That tingly feeling you get just thinking
about them. She has lost the “in love” feelings and wants out. You may never know why. Call it
one of the mysteries of life.

My advice and this will be hard to do, back off totally from her. Let her be the one to contact
you, if she does. In the mean time, put yourself back on the market. It takes two to make a
relationship work and only one for it not to. No matter how much you love her, its not working
for her right now. Time to move on.

Michael