I am a middle-aged woman on my third marriage, so I have been around the block a few times. This is a
strange story, when I met husband, there was a strong attraction and we were engaged within the year and
married the next.

He talks a lot about his "favorite" sister; in addition, he has two others and one brother. His "favorite" sister lives
close to us and he often goes over to her house for lunch when her husband and children were at work/school.
Whenever we all get together, I notice a definite "connection" between these two, abnormal for a brother/sister
relationship. I have talked to him about this several times and he always denies anything unusual going on. Until
one day I was so angry and asked him "are you sleeping with your sister" and he quickly answered me "YES"
and then took it back and said "what are you talking about?"

I am more than convinced he is having an affair (if that is what you would call it) let alone an incestuous
relationship with his sister. They act guilty when together and have eye contact as if they are sharing some
secret between them. I do not know what to do? His sister has been married for 20+ years to her husband,
whom I believe knows this is going on, so I feel I am supposed to accept this, but find I cannot. Please tell me
what to do.

Bewildered

Dear Bewildered

On the surface, after reading your letter I would be tempted to take the same position. All
indicators are that there is something going "on" between these two. You do not want to assume
too much. Because we all know that when you assume something, you make an ass out of u
and me. You mind is unsettled and you want some answers.

This is a most difficult subject to bring up at the Thanksgiving dinner table. You can't go around
asking questions, behind peoples backs either. Once this got out it will drive a very deep wedge
between you and the rest of the family, especially if you are wrong. You are new to the family,
you don't want their wrath coming down on your head, before the pumpkin pie is served.

When you asked him directly, it totally caught him off guard, his automatic response kicked in
and then he tried to recover. Your husbands unchaperoned lunches are what I would want to
check out. If they are involved, this would be the place to do it without running the risk of getting
caught in a motel around the corner. What could more innocent than dropping by the visit "sis".
See if you can detect a pattern to his visits. When people are skulking around for any time at all,
they get careless. When you are sure he is there, drop in for dessert. Other than doing this work
yourself, you might consider a detective, this keeps you in the clear. The bottom line is, without
hard core, set in stone evidence all you have is a gut level suspicion. You cannot bring this up
to anyone without it. Once you have the truth, then you will have a clearer path of which to act.

Good Luck

Michael