I need to know why it is that I lose interest in the relationships that I enter into with men. I like them from the start, then its gone and I don’t know why. I can’t feel anything and sustain anything without walking away and leaving them hurt as well as myself. I seem to like the ones that are considered the "Bad Boys" but they do not last either.

Completely Lost

Dear Lost,

The problem you are having seems to be a dilemma for both men and women. It’s one of those kinds of issues that are not gender based. It’s a unisex type problem. There may be a several reasons for this to happen.

The reason most people act the way they do in relationships is because of their family of origin. Good or bad, it’s the way we grew up and the people we were around for most of our formative years that help set up the way we act as adults. We learn from our parents and how they acted toward each other, that in one way teach us how we should treat our spouses. In your particular case, perhaps your mother was the strong one in the family. Your father was the weaker figure and was constantly being treated badly and so this was your guide to follow. Treat all men bad was your lesson to learn.

Another scenario could be that you grew up in a single parent family; your mother was constantly being used and abused by men, especially the “Bad boy” types. As a child you could not do anything, but now as an adult you are getting back at all the men who mistreated your mother. You may be returning to your child like mental state and trying to fix things as an adult that you could not help as a child. This is not uncommon.
 
Something may be short circuited in your ability to sustain healthy relationships. I would suggest calling a therapist specializing in relationships to find the answer. It does seem to me that you are bothered by your feelings and why you act they way you do and would like some answers to your problem. If you do not go looking for a cure, you will be destined to repeating your frustrations with relationships and not know why. I believe you will find the answers your looking for with the proper help.

Good luck

Michael