I will try to keep this short. I have been involved in a turbulent relationship with a man for two years now. I am a woman, 30 years old, average in every way. Recently, a new person was hired at my company.

We spend our lunches and breaks together. I cannot stop thinking about him constantly. He feels the same. He is also in a relationship. Is this just lust? Should I dissolve our meetings? People at work are talking about us getting together. Is this gossip hurtful to our reputations in the professional world?

We have discussed getting together but considering the situation, we are not sure. The want seems to be getting greater. This is something I have never experienced before. How should I handle this situation? Does this mean I am no longer interested in the long-term relationship with my current boyfriend? The problems between us seem normal but generally, we resolve them and stay together.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated

The first question that hits my brain is, what is wrong with your current love interest? You claim it has been a long term relationship and now your getting the hots for some new blood. So, are you not happy with the current number one in your life. You two need to resolve your disagreements and stay together, that is normal for all couples. If you have been together for a long time these kinds of feelings can creep into any relationship. If you have the right stuff, this will pass and you will continue with your relationship. I sense something different.

The one word you used to describe your relationship that bothers me is “turbulent”. A strong word to use about someone you are involved with. Things must not be that good or you would not be looking around or influenced by another person. I would say it is time to take a good long look at your relationship. Is this the right person for you? Have things run its course and it is time to move on? Good relationships should feel like your favorite pair of shoes or an outfit you wear. In short, the read-between-the-lines feeling I am getting is that you are not happy.

OK, this is where it can get a little sticky. Since you and your co-worker are at the same work location I would say that you need to check out polices about dating at your job. If things heat up with number two because number one is out of the picture, you need to be careful about sharing your private life with the rest of the staff. For now, if you are no longer with number one then keep your dating activates private. Play it safe when it comes to your job.

Thanks for writing

Michael