Is Valentine's Day the most romantic day of the year?  Or is it simply another commercial holiday that has lost its true meaning?  For many, it is a day of high expectations and big letdowns, according to a leading expert on love.

Nina Atwood, author and therapist, says that most couples neglect their relationship all year long, then expect to make up for it by being ultra romantic on Valentine's Day.  "All the flowers and jewelry in the world don't make up for emotional disconnection," says Atwood.  Advertising and media can also create pressure to fill the vacancy with things rather than loving behavior.

Atwood coaches singles and couples about healthy relationships through her books, "Be Your Own Dating Service" and "Date Lines" (both Holt) and through her web site, www.singlescoach.com.

"If there is not much loving behavior, the expectations for something spectacular on February 14th can lead to disappointment," says Atwood.  Many couples break up later because of the letdown.

Some simple steps can protect couples from this pitfall.  "The most powerful gift in a relationship is the gift of acknowledgment," says Atwood. "Just this step alone is enough to fill the emotional bank account all year. Then Valentine's Day is not a day to make up for the year's neglect, but is instead a day to celebrate your relationship."

Atwood's advice is to practice these things all year:

 --  Thank each other for the little things you do, every day

--  Look for things that you appreciate about your partner and take note

of them

--  Tell your partner what you appreciate about him/her at least once a

week, and be specific

--  Show your partner your appreciation by giving small emotional gifts

every week: a card, flowers, a foot rub, a special dinner, a love

note, etc.

--  Say "I love you" in as many ways as you can think of as often as

possible

--  Ask each other for dates at least once every week, and make it happen

 "Be Your Own Dating Service" and "Date Lines: Communication From 'Hello' to 'I Do' And Everything In Between," by Nina Atwood (Holt), are both available in bookstores and through amazon.com.